Music that Transports Me

Being a person who may not have played much music, I've always been an avid listener. In fact, I'm one of those people who needs to have music playing at all times. Even when I'm sleeping, I sometimes like to have music on in the background, in the hope that it will seep into my dreams. My obsession for music is somewhat eccentric that I don't find in many other people I know. But for me, music has a unique ability to transport me to another world.

Spring is almost here, and I have a few go-to songs that I always listen to around this time of year. I used to think I liked winter, but over the past few years, I've come to realize that I don't enjoy it nearly as much as I thought. While I used to enjoy the crisp air and other winter sensations, I'm much more excited about the arrival of spring these days. February is always a tough month for me. Even though it's the shortest month of the year, it always seems to drag on forever. It feels like I'm stuck in a dark tunnel, just waiting for a light to appear at the end. To help me through this tough time, I rely on music that reminds me of spring.

One of my favorite pieces of music to listen to when I want to feel like it's spring is Schubert's “Im Frühling.” The title itself suggests that the piece is about spring, and it takes me back to the early spring of 2010, when all my worries and concerns were limited to life on campus. I first heard this piece in a music theory class led by a passionate teacher, who helped me appreciate every word and chord. As I listened to the music, I looked outside and saw the peaceful grass and trees in Tappan Square. I felt that happiness was within reach.

The same piece also evokes memories of a more recent phase of my life when I used to regularly take the Brooklyn-bound morning subway D line. As the train passed the Manhattan Bridge, the surrounding was serene and empty, and I savored watching the sunrise. Whenever I listen to “Im Frühling," it takes me back to these specific instances in my life, and I feel a sense of tranquility and attachment to the spring season.

One album that holds a special place in my heart is “Close to the Edge” by Yes. It's my favorite album of all time, and if I were stranded on a deserted island and could only bring one album, it would be this one. Although I stopped listening to it for a while because I was afraid it might lose its special quality, I recently found a used LP in Seattle and am now enjoying it again with a fresh perspective. I first discovered this album when some friends and I borrowed our music theory teacher's car to visit a friend in the hospital on a beautiful, sunny day in May 2012. We were curious about what our teacher listened to when he was in the car, so we played the audio system and discovered that he had been listening to “Close to the Edge.” At the time, all my worries and concerns were confined to college, and I had mixed feelings about the future since it was only a couple of weeks before graduation. I just wanted to savor the moment before it was gone.

Starting from the latter part of 2012 and throughout 2013, I became heavily invested in the realm of progressive rock, yet struggled to discover an album that surpassed my fondness for "Close to the Edge." This was during my time in New York City, where I was freshly situated and eager for future prospects. Wherever I went in the city - whether it was a leisurely stroll around the block, riding the bus to school, commuting via subway to the Metropolitan Museum, running errands to an art store in SoHo, or even when simply socializing with my roommate over drinks - this album accompanied me.

For me, music is much more than just a series of sounds and harmonies. It's a tool I use to temporarily forget about my worries and concerns, to revisit old memories, and to find peace and happiness.

Coffee Subscriptions and a Dream

I have previously written on my blog that I am incredibly passionate about good coffee. I particularly favor light roast coffee due to its high caffeine content, crisp taste, and acidity. I have gone through many coffee subscriptions and different roasters over the years. I would like to share some of my favorite ones with you.

The most recent roaster that I have been subscribing to is Atomic Coffee Roasters in Massachusetts. I discovered this roaster by chance during a Google search one day. I typed in "coffee," "subscription," and "light roast," and this roaster popped up. Usually, when I search for coffee subscriptions, roasters send me various bags without distinguishing the roasting level. However, I have been extremely pleased with Atomic Coffee Roasters because they offer only light roast selections. Another great thing about this particular subscription is that they rotate the beans every month, so selections are always new. It is always exciting to try different beans from different regions, stimulate my taste buds, and adjust the recipe every day. By the time I find the best brewing recipe and method, I enter the following month's selection, keeping me entertained. This month, I am enjoying the Bali Kintamani.

Another interesting roaster that I have tried is Proud Mary Coffee USA. I chose this roaster because they offer experimental selections. They categorize the beans into four different categories: deluxe, mild, curious, and wild. Deluxe is their premium limited beans, and wild would be something that you wouldn't normally find at your local cafes, such as coffee from obscure regions, unconventional blends, etc. They rotate the selections based on their inventory and the crop quality, so I was able to try many interesting beans that intrigued my curiosity.

A friend of mine recommended Coava Coffee Roasters in Portland. I ordered Las Capucas and Meaza from them. They were solid and produced a great cup of coffee. My friend specifically recommended Coava for their consistency.

One of my lifelong dreams, besides music-related ones, is to roast my own coffee beans to my liking. There are shared roasting plants in the city where I can learn about it, but if I could simply do it at home, wouldn't that be even better? The fulfilling emotion I get when I equip my coffee corner with freshly roasted beans is something that one can't explain unless experienced.

P.S., share good roasters if you have any!

A Fresh Start to Daily Practice

As I was engaging in the morning routine of fixing breakfast and brewing coffee, I began to contemplate the idea of revising and reconstructing my daily practice routine. Each new year brings with it the possibility for a fresh start, and I felt inspired to consider what areas of my playing I need to address and improve upon.

Lately, I have noticed that while I have been focusing on the quality of my sound, I have not been giving as much attention to intonation and vibrato. Consequently, I have decided to include these elements in my daily scales and arpeggios routine. Additionally, I have come to realize that I have been neglecting the importance of long tone practice, prioritizing articulation and finger techniques instead. However, I now plan to increase the amount of time I spend on long tone exercises, with a specific focus on intonation and vibrato, in order to cultivate a greater understanding of these technical aspects.

Furthermore, I plan to incorporate excerpts and repertoire into my daily routine. Rather than dedicating an extra hour to articulation work, I have been contemplating the idea of practicing passages from my repertoire at a much slower tempo. By doing so, I can focus on the small details of the music and work towards eliminating any mistakes I may be making. My goal is to make my playing as musical as possible, and I believe that if I can execute a passage in the way I desire at a slower tempo, I will be able to do the same at the original tempo with ease.

Lastly, I have recognized the significance of incorporating meditation into my practice and daily routine. It can be challenging to maintain a sense of calm during performances, interactions with audiences, and playing with inspiring colleagues, so I have resolved to include a meditation routine to assist with this. While guided meditation is always helpful, I also plan to focus on my breathing habits as a means of staying calm and centered.

Reflections on Musically and Personally Fulfilling Year

As I sit here, blissfully lost in the beautiful melodies of Schubert's Sonata in B flat major performed by the talented Rudolf Buchbinder, I can't help but look back on the year 2022 with a sense of gratitude and accomplishment. This year has been a huge one for me, filled with challenges and triumphs.

For starters, I had the privilege of joining the faculty at Ocean County College as a teacher in the spring semester. Over the course of this year, I've had the pleasure of meeting and working with some truly amazing colleagues and students. It's been a true joy to be a part of such a supportive and diverse community, and I'm so grateful for the opportunity to cultivate a rich learning environment.

On top of that, I've also been incredibly busy with performances this year. After a couple of seasons spent focusing on honing my skills and practicing neglected etudes, I was thrilled to be called for a plethora of solo, chamber, and orchestral concerts. I can't thank enough the friends and presenters who invited me to be a part of these performances, and I'm so grateful for the opportunity to share my music with audiences again.

But above all else, I'm just so thankful for my family and loved ones. Even though my parents are all the way in Korea, they always make sure to send me words of comfort and support. And of course, I couldn't have made it through this year without the endless love and support of my wife, who puts up with my rants, enjoys my cooking (no matter how questionable), and supports me in every way possible.

All in all, 2022 has been a pretty darn good year, despite its ups and downs. I'm just so grateful to be healthy, along with my wife, friends, and family. As we say goodbye to this year and look forward to the next, I hope that everyone has a wonderful new year filled with all the joy and success that they deserve.

And with that, I'm going to wrap up this post by sharing some of my favorite tunes to listen to during a variety of activities. These include my daily commute to teaching and concerts, my solo relaxation time at home, my practice breaks, cooking dinner, writing emails, and sipping on a nice glass of Scotch whisky. There's nothing like some good music to make any activity a little more enjoyable!

Classical:

• Schumann Symphony No. 4 & Dvorak Symphony No. 8 (Karajan/VPO) - DG

• Rachmaninov Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini (Fleisher/Szell) - Sony

• Bach Brandenburg Concerti (Musical Antiqua Köln) - Archiv

• Tchaikovsky Symphony No. 5 (Szell/Cleveland) - Sony

• Mendelssohn & Tchaikovsky Violin Concertos (Stern/Ormandy) - Sony

Non-classical:

• Close to the Edge (Yes)

• Nothing But the Best (Frank Sinatra)

• Five Leaves Left (Nick Drake)

• Bitches Brew (Miles Davis)

• Turning to Crime (Deep Purple)

• Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band (The Beatles)

Moving

The last time I moved was in May of 2016.  So this move happened after living in the same place for approximately 4 years and 8 months.  Leaving all the memories behind, I am now moving on to a new chapter of my life.  Now that I am comfortably settled in my new place, I would like to share my experience with this particular move. 

(This post was written and edited over the course of one month)

The Bermuda Triangle (written on the week of Jan. 31 / Feb. 1)

Stuff piles.  Especially when you live alone and have a lot of space to buy and keep all the stuff.  I did not know that I had accumulated so much stuff in a studio apartment.  It took me a week to go through everything, and to sort out what I wanted to keep and what I wanted to give away. 

I used the famous Marie Kondo method; if it doesn’t bring you joy, it’s gotta go.  So many clothes, books, kitchen appliances, furnitures, and shoes, all went into the giveaway boxes.  This purging process helped me reflect on my spending habits and plan for the future. 

Everyday on the street outside of my apartment, I left bags of things I did not want to keep.  Within an hour or two, they were gone.  I gave away a variety of items for a week.  I observed that books were the hardest items to attract the general public, but the shoes and clothes disappeared instantly.  The furnitures and kitchen appliances were also on the easier side.  Hopefully my belongings found new happy homes.  I remembered an episode from How I Met Your Mother, where the gang talks about their experience of putting things outside of their apartment.  Size does not matter, and everything disappears the moment you turn around. The urban legend turned out to be true; the Bermuda Triangle indeed exists. 

The Front (written on the week of Feb. 7)

I was roaming in the new neighborhood.  I wanted to pick up something on my way home, so I went into a small local pharmacy/health product store.  I was shocked.  It is a pharmacy, but not a single staff member was wearing a mask.  Not only did they not have anything I wanted (because the store was half-empty), but also they violated the standard health code (and again, it’s a pharmacy/health product store).  I immediately questioned myself if the pharmacy could be a front for some kind of drug dealing.  But could it really be?

Some years ago, I went to a flower shop on Upper West Side.  I thought the flower shop pretty much had no flowers and no trees. I found that strange and I did not go there again.  I found out from a friend who used to work there that the flower shop was a front for some kind of cocaine business.  So that explained why no one knew anything about flowers, and why they didn’t have flowers in the shop. 

Going back to my neighborhood pharmacy, could this store be a hub of drug deals?

Walks (written on Feb. 16)

The walks have been more pleasant in the new neighborhood than in my previous neighborhood.  Although there isn’t a good park, the neighborhood stroll has been more fun.  There are new residential establishments, characteristic blocks, and various local businesses.  

Yesterday, I walked to a neighborhood where there is no subway line. It’s very close to the water, and because there is no subway, the neighborhood seemed a bit older than the ones near the stations.  Definitely more family oriented, and more suburban looking.  Anyway, I found a breakfast-all-day bistro, which closes at 6 p.m.  The impression I got based on their menu: the place is an elevated American diner.  According to Google Maps, the bistro has a very high rating, and seems to have a lot of regulars.  Because it is fairly distant from the public transit (a lower floating population), I figured that this place perhaps would be a safer place for an indoor dining experience.  With the newly reduced restriction, the indoor dining in NYC has been popular again, though I am not confident to go in and risk (just yet).  But with this new breakfast-all-day business, I might find an awkward time block (in-between meals) to have a quick and proper dinning experience.  

Or again … because restaurants have liquor license, can this place be a front for an alcohol smuggling operation?  I doubt that.

I gotta stop questioning things, and should perhaps have more faith in humanity. 

What else? What more?

Things have gotten slow. At least in the music world, things are still slow. It’s so slow that there seems to be no movement what-so-ever. Friends and colleagues are considering different career paths. I understand the frustration because I also thought about a series of different career paths.

I started thinking about what I enjoy doing, what I could do, what I should do … etc. The answer is always going back to the music. Both fortunately and unfortunately given the circumstances, music is a destined career path for me. I picked a lifestyle and a career as a musician––a professional one. It has been rewarding because it is not an easy path to follow. From time to time, I sometimes doubt my decision. But music always comes back to me (or I always go back to music). Music is a way that I can express and interpret human emotions; the best way that I know.

How do I love my strong relationship with music even more? Where does my art stand in this dystopian world? How do I enjoy this rollercoaster ride despite everything?  How did my passion start, and where is it heading now? 

The answer is … I don’t know. The answer may or may not come to me. Enjoy the present … that may be the answer, and that might be the answer. But I also know that once a passion turns into work, then the magic disappears. It is no longer love. It is an obligation. So what do I do?

A note from a sleepless night

Tonight is one of those nights that you try to sleep, but you hardly can.  I can feel that hot and steamy summer is already here with us—more sleepless nights to come.  I change my ceiling light setting to warm white from daylight white.  My stereo is gently playing piano concerti by Mozart.

Nights like tonight, I am easily sucked into a vortex of thoughts.  On a lucky night, I am inspired to write.  Some nights, I doodle meaningless cartoons.  But mostly I get myself vacuumed into a thought vortex.  A few years ago, I could not fall asleep for several hours.  After countless trials, I finally gave up, and decided to write a letter to my future self.  I cannot recall the details of the letter off the top of my head, but I do remember it was about things I wish I had known earlier.  

The very first thing I wish I had known earlier was that the house I was living at the moment had neither a functioning roof nor a working heating system.  Living in the little brick house, I had a very cold winter.  I was always feeling ill.  Every time when it snowed, the snow directly above my roof melted and the water dripped into my room.  Even though the maintenance checked the roof multiple times, they could not figure out a way to fix it.  The house was built in 1861, and a little over a century later it became a city landmark.  In a way, I was living in the history.  But at that moment, I was writing to ask my future self whether being in the history was worth it.  Years later, I sometimes see the little brick house in my dream.  Even in my dream, I try to fix up the house.  I never saw any positive outcome in my dream though.  

The second thing was about anxiety.  I am a type who easily gets anxious.  I only learned it about myself three to four years ago.  At the time of writing, however, I thought I was experiencing a mood-swing or my mood was easily affected by the surroundings.  So I wrote in my note to my future self that I wish I had known that my mood swing were based upon the surroundings.  I am glad that I eventually came to an awareness of my anxiety, otherwise I would be blaming on myself for having a mood swing.  Being aware of my anxiety is actually relieving.  Meditation and breathing practices come in very handy.  Some say happy and positive thoughts are helpful, but they are not for me.  Emptying my head space is more affective on me.  

A difficult time like this, we need to focus on the mindfulness.  Understanding what we desire and how we can feed our soul and spirit is so important. 

Entering the Week of Brahms Symphonies

In search of lost inspiration, I have been listening to numerous recordings. I started my musical pilgrimage with the Beethoven symphonies conducted by George Szell, Otto Klemperer, Bruno Walter and Wilhelm Furtwängler. As you can tell, I am a big fan of older recordings. I find that the style of playing is greatly audacious, yet hardly pretentious. Not to be missed, the extremely crisp articulation is also an “ear opener,” especially the ones by Szell and Walter. As I was surveying the symphonic music of Beethoven, my musical curiosity led me into the symphonic music of Johannes Brahms; especially the symphonies.

I was so lucky to perform Brahms’s Second Symphony last summer at a music festival. Without this experience, I wouldn’t have had an opportunity to closely listen to this masterwork. It is quite embarrassing to say that I had not listened to Brahms’s Second Symphony until last summer — more precisely, I didn’t pay a close attention before. While learning the piece, I probably listened to 5 to 6 different recordings; eventually I ended up with Daniel Barenboim’s live recording with the Staatskappelle Berlin. Something about this recording brings me joy every time I listen to it: the rich expression and the well resonating orchestral sound, but without any musical sacrifice in execution. Especially in the final movement, the driving force towards the end is quite spectacular. I would have stood up and started clapping if I were listening to this in person. 

Since I am obsessed with discovering hidden gems from the 20th century, I began my Brahmsian journey with older recordings. I started with Carlos Kleiber’s legendary recording of the Fourth Symphony with Wiener Philharmoniker. Several friends have recommended me this album; and I finally listened to this. I have acquired this CD from a library giveaway years ago, and it finally had its moment to shine again. This has quickly become my go-to Brahms 4 recording. Everything is so well balanced ... so well balanced that I was reminded by a story from my childhood: The Three Bears, where a girl named Goldilocks tastes three different bowls of porridge and finds that she prefers porridge that is neither too hot nor too cold, but has just the right temperature. My listening experience of this album was so satisfying — felt like climbing up the mountain of a higher art form. I know this can be a very controversial statement because everyone could have a very different musical experience to mine, and also what I musically believe is not absolute. Tastes, furthermore, tend to change over time. But at least for now, I have been enjoying listening to Kleiber’s recording very much. 

Years ago, I heard Charles Münch’s recording of the First Symphony with the Orchestre de Paris. I don’t know if this would be a good description; I felt like hearing a roaring lion with charisma and dignity. Having this fond recollection of Münch’s interpretation in my mind, I inserted the recording of the Second and Fourth Symphonies with the Boston Symphony Orchestra to my stereo. I definitely hear “the roaring lion” in this album as well, even though the two orchestras have very different styles of playing. If the Orchestre de Paris’s approach has down-to-earth honesty, the Boston Symphony’s take has edge-of-seat crispness. While listening to the BSO recording, I started wondering if two totally different concepts can co-exist. As far as I can verbally express Brahms’s music, I personally think his music brings out the feeling of nostalgia and longing from the deepest part of my heart. In addition to the nostalgic feelings, I sense joyful passion. I find that these two concepts are on the opposite sides of emotional spectrum, but somehow there’s an invisible string holding them together. (opposite concepts in words; e.g. joyful tear or bittersweetness) 

I hope that you enjoyed reading my own experience of entering the week of Brahms Symphonies. I’ve included below a list of some of my favorite Brahms Symphony recordings. I sincerely wish that you can also find the joy of appreciating the Brahms Symphonies as I do. 

Recommendations:

Complete Symphonies: 

Sergiu Celibidache and Münchener Philharmoniker

Carlo Maria Giulini and Wiener Philharmoniker

Marek Janowski and Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra

James Levine and Wiener Philharmoniker

George Szell and Cleveland Orchesetra

Bruno Walter and Columbia Symphony Orchestra

Günter Wand and NDR-Sinfonieorchester

Musician's Birthday: Francis Poulenc

Allow me to share my words and experience with this incredible musician.  This is my way of celebrating his enormous contribution to the history of music.  

Francis Poulenc (Jan. 7, 1899–Jan. 30, 1963) has left many masterpieces, but particularly for us, flautists.  No introduction is necessary for his Sonata for Flute and Piano.  I still remember the very first time discovering this piece.  My parents bought me a set of CDs comprises of the 20thcentury works for the flute.  One of the pieces was the Sonata for Flute and Piano.  I was in awe.  I couldn’t control the joy of uncovering this wonder.  What struck me the most is how magically the music unfolds its story.  

The first movement is full of musical gestures, which flow with a few surprises in the piano part here and there.  The music is quite simple, but it is always so challenging to achieve the simplicity in performances.  The second movement is filled with songlike melodies and their beautifully accompanying harmonies.  The piano has a repetitive accompaniment figure when the flute is playing the main melody, then the piano folds the flute passage with descending harmonic clusters, which remind me of a scene from an old black and white film where old memories appear with the cigarette smoke (please check out the clip from Casablanca below).  The third movement resembles of a whimsical circus.  The movement begins with a comical music; I always imagine that a magician pulls out a rabbit from his hat while acrobats are flying over the magician’s head.  A minute before the piece ends, the flute takes a mini cadenza which is the moment of reflecting the second movement.  This mini cadenza happens quite abruptly, and it immediately catches listeners’ attention; then the piano joins – a reprise of the first movement, but very slowly.  Then the whimsical comedy returns, and the piece ends.  

A few years ago, I was at the Met museum. I was strolling in the French Impressionism wing while listening to a set of French flute music from the 20thcentury.  I stopped at three beautiful paintings by Pissarro, and my phone was playing the Poulenc Sonata.  The paintings visually describe my musical imagination from the sonata … and the Sonata aurally depicts the scenes from the paintings – especially the first two movements.  This experience brought me back to the magical moment when I first discovered this piece.  I stood at the paintings until the recording was over, and silently came back to my apartment. 

At the turn of the century, composers started writing music that is completely different from the old world’s music. The melody, the harmony, the form … they rather became the secondary matters.  Using music as a vehicle to express the modern-world chaos, the desire to express one’s psychologically tormenting psyche initiated the new musical movement; the composers started exploring the possibilities of atonality. Francis Poulenc while living through the stylistic turmoil still continues the Parisian legacy of which Maurice Ravel and Claude Debussy had established.  Not only does Poulenc elegantly explore the unique instrumental timbres, but also he brings out subtle beauty in his music.  Unlike the compositional trend of his time, the music of Poulenc expresses the tonal simplicity, which brings us the simple joy.   

Jean-Pierre Rampal, flute / Robert Veyron-Lacroix, piano

Expectation vs. reality

I would like to share a note I wrote back in August of 2019.

-

Years ago, when I wasn’t able to go anywhere for the summer, I freaked out. I couldn’t go home in Korea, I couldn’t go visit friends in Europe, I couldn’t fly out of NYC. I panicked. I made a summer calendar of writing down all my NYC friends’ summer whereabouts … who’s in NYC in the weeks of XYZ, who’s going to XYZ festivals for how long, etc., etc., and etc.

My expectation then was pretty miserable, but I survived. This summer, I also planned to stay in the NYC. My expectation this time is somewhat positive. I have been regularly seeing friends and colleagues for coffee, lunch, dinner, movies, museums, etc. I have been having somewhat productive yet entertaining summer. Without the struggle of which I had a few years ago, I wouldn’t have learnt how to enjoy my summer here in NYC.

-

Epilogue:

Life goes on no matter what happens. Better enjoy it now than never. Sending you lots of love and positivity.

Inspiration

Sunday, Sept. 15, 9:48 a.m.

I am in Philadelphia, getting ready to find my way back to NYC in a couple of hours. Last night, I was going through my portfolio, and suddenly I wanted to start painting again. I have not been painting for a several months, or maybe a year?

I started remembering what I was obsessed with in paintings, thinking what elements I want to paint, etc. I am deeply obsessed with dots, and I want to continue painting more dots. When I painted Black dots, I planned that this will be the first of the black dots series. I may have enough inspiration to create the second Black dots, and I better start soon before my inspiration flies off my head, and finds some other souls.

Summer of 2019 Playlist

I did not spend much time listening to Korean popular songs in the past. But I started listening to a few before this summer, then I got into a few older “Classics” of the Korean pop songs. Then I began my journey of building a playlist on my Apple Music app. I enjoy listening to them when I am on the plane, subway, or walking … any activity that involves commuting.

The lyrics are not at all provocative, and in fact they are somewhat poetic. When I introduce those older Classics songs to my non-Korean speaking friends, I have a trouble translating the lyrics into English. It is very difficult to convey Korean poetic words, especially because often the words don’t necessarily form a complete sentence or the words have double meanings or ambiguous wordings creates multiple connotations, and so on.

Enough with the talks. Here’s the list.

김광석 - 서른 즈음에

이한철 - 산책

아이유 - 비밀의 화원

이적 - 걱정말아요, 그대

이은미 - 우리 두사람

김연우 - 반성문

이수현 - 소리

아이유 - 사랑이 지나가면

선우정아 - 고양이

최재훈 - 비의 랩소디

박정현 - The End

Feel free to share your favourite Korean pop songs with me in the comments.

From One Flute to Another

When I first acquired my Brannen-Cooper flute, I had the expectation of using it for only five years before selling it, however I've been playing it for more than five years now. Although there have been some ups and downs over the years, I am happy with my decision to stick with it.

Prior to my current Brannen flute, I had two other flutes. My parents got me a platinum-plated Muramatsu flute when I became serious about playing the instrument. I used this flute for my middle school and high school entrance exams, as well as my college auditions. Even after I enrolled at Oberlin, I continued to use this flute. In middle school, I also acquired a gold Salvatore Faulisi head joint for it.

During one summer in Korea, I brought my Muramatsu flute to a repair shop, and my repair professional lent me a 1989 Silver Powell flute (with an additional silver Altus head joint) while my Muramatsu was being fixed. I played the Powell for a few days and fell in love with it. The Powell flute was a lightweight silver flute that produced a sweet tone as soon as I blew into it. So, I decided to buy it when I went to collect my Muramatsu.

For a few years I used the Powell flute with the Faulisi head joint. It was a great combination that resulted in a focused and pure tone.

My playing style has changed significantly over the past few years. Each flute, like Muramatsu, Powell, Faulisi, and Altus, have its own unique feel, and after much time playing the Brannen-Cooper, I have grown accustomed to its sound.

---

Summary of the flutes I have used.

Muramatsu PTP (2002–2008)

+ Faulisi 14K

Powell Sterling Silver (2008–2013; 2015–and from time to time)

+ Altus 958

+ Faulisi 14K

+ Lafin 14K

Brannen-Cooper 14K (2013–present)

+ Lafin 14K

New Obsession

Sept. 30, 2018

When something catches my eye, I tend to slowly build obsessions for it. Often it’s healthy obsessions, at least I’d like to believe they are. Sometimes I’d like to take time to research to see if I’d enjoy it if I make that obsession into reality (like the one time when I started taking film photos). Sometimes I’d like to be little bit impulsive without a second thought. I will give you an example.

Recently I was asked to present a recital, and a program of my choice. At the time of making the decision, I listened to many different pieces that I have not played. Then I started building an obsession to Romance by Philippe Gaubert (1879-1941). I have played and heard his works before, but hadn’t heard the Romance at all. I started to locate the music, called a friend and searched the library catalogue. My friend had a relatively newer part and score, and the school library had a fossil-like copy — one of those copies when you open you have to blow the dust off, and each page immediately falls apart.

The beautiful opening melody became part of my daily warm-up routine. Wherever I went, I took the beautiful melody with me. (I am thinking about transposing it, and add to my own “Tone Development” exercises.)

Anyway, this beautiful and mysterious composition of Gaubert, has been in my head all the time. I listen to it when commuting, resting, and humming the melody while doing dishes and sweeping the floor.

Searching for a New Style?

1.1:

I have painted for a while, exclusively on framed canvas or muslin. I have been neglecting to paint recently for multiple reasons. The main big reason would be lack of space to produce art. I had produced rather space-taking artworks in the past, and my studio cannot simply manage it well  especially when drying the paintings.

On a side note, one accident happened last winter. I set one of my oil paintings on the side to slowly dry. I accidentally knocked over a wine glass, and the glass was completely destroyed. The tiny glass parts scattered all over my studio. I picked up all the parts on the floor. But a month later I discovered small glass pieces on my painting (which gives a little character to the painting in my opinion.)

1.2:

There are many other reasons, but lack of space is one of the reasons I stopped painting larger scale works.

2.1:

I received a handful of suggestions from many artists. They all recommended me to create something less permanent, more likely something destroyable. 

I asked … What do you mean by Something Destroyable?

An artwork that is not on framed fabric, an artwork that is on a sheet of paper, an artwork that is easy to store and throw away, or that doesn't take a lot of space to store, an artwork that I don’t feel emotionally attached to.

2.2:

The idea of an artwork from which I can easily look away sounded so appealing. I tend to fix my artworks over time, and sometimes I look for my old paintings to fix. As a matter of fact, I recently fixed a painting from 2015. 

3.1:

Anyway, I sorta have a principle, "Once it's over, it's over.” I could apply that principle to my art producing process. (cf. No refunds or exchanges, all sales final.)

4.1:

I am very much looking forward to working with new mediums and materials to paint on. Of course, I can go back to larger scale oil paintings within a year or two, but this very period of searching for new ways certainly is an exciting part of journey as a visual artist. 

Well, It Is Just a Hobby

I finally made a decision. It was long overdue. I bought a camera. 

1.1: I always wanted to take photos, but rather in a semi-professional way. Three years ago, I had opportunities to walk around different parts of New York due to my work. I visited many different neighbourhoods, and saw various cultures within the city. I wanted to archive the scenes I saw. 

1.2: So I started taking photos everywhere I went—from my neighbourhood to Brooklyn, Queens, and the Bronx. 

2.1: I used my iPhone to take photos. iPhones offer very simple editing tools, which I had some fun by changing the exposure level, the contrast level, the saturation level, etc. of the photos. I really had a great time walking around and taking photos. 

2.2: I started wanting a nice camera to really dive into the world of photography. But I also had a constant stream of what ifs. 

• What if I stop wanting to take photos immediately after purchasing a nice camera?

• What if I get tired of taking photos?

• What if I really suck at taking photos?

• What if I don’t make a progress?

Besides all those what ifs, there were a few more unforeseen circumstances which led me to not buying a camera. But the hobby continued. On the side note, I got better at taking photos on an iPhone over time. 

3.1: The strong desire to own a nice camera did not seem to disappear for a while. I was getting bored of taking photos, and checking them out instantly. Then I suddenly remembered how excited I was when I was waiting for rolls of film to be developed and see the printed pictures. 

3.2: There was a short period of attempting to make a pinhole camera out of a tin can or a wooden box. But then the joy of taking photos would be less greater than the joy of arts and craft. Plus, there will be no joy of waiting for a film roll to be developed. (On a side note, I can easily turn my SLR into a pinhole camera.)

3.3: I started looking for a used 35mm film camera. There are many places where you can look for a used film camera. There is always thrift stores, camera shops or even relatives’ attics. (As many people say, ‘New York City is a big playground.’)

3.4: After a thorough research, I found what I was looking for: Olympus OM-2N. It is extremely easy to use, and also it is considered to be a photographer’s camera. I am happy with my choice. I have about 4 to 5 rolls which I need to take in for a developing process. I won’t see the how well or badly I did with the camera for a while. 

4.1: Going back to the what ifs. I still did have the same what ifs after I purchased my Olympus. But this time, I had the answers for them.

• Q. What if I stop wanting to take photos immediately after purchasing a nice camera?

  • A: Used cameras aren’t that pricey that I can always stop and go back to.

• Q: What if I get tired of taking photos?

  • A: Then I can look for different 35mm cameras for not a lot of money.

• Q: What if I really suck at taking photos?

  • A: Especially the film photos, it takes a while to get used to it. Patience is genius.

• Q: What if I don’t make a progress?

  • A: Well, it’s just a hobby.

Losing Wisdom, Losing Patience

Completed on Jul. 13

1.1: It had to happen. There was no pain from having all four of my wisdom teeth, but I got two of them removed to prevent them from future troubles. One from the right side, and another from the left side—both the lower ones. 

1.2: I got the right one removed first. Both lower teeth were laying horizontally, so it wasn’t an easy job. A week later, I got the left one removed. The right one only gave me some minor pain for a couple of days. The left one, however, is still giving me a great deal of pain. 

2.1: After not practicing the flute for about a month, I decided to start practicing it again. First I got my flutes repaired. Shortly after the second tooth removal, I went to the repairshop to pick up my flutes. I tried them out. I felt some teeth missing. 

2.2: The pain did not go away, only multiplied especially after I played. Playing the flute was upsetting the wounds. 

3.1: The pain is definitely something I want to get rid of. However, it was one of the very first times that I understood how the inner-mouth position works while playing the flute. The amount of pain tells me how much I am moving my jaw, and how much tension I am adding. 

3.2: Not just the pain itself, I am practicing everything slowly from the beginning in order to retrieve where I left off. So in a way I am re-learning everything in both physically and emotionally painful ways. 

4.1: Because of the pain, I can’t really practice all day. It only has to be a couple of hours ... no more than three ... Cramming everything into that little amount of hours makes me impatient throughout the practice session. Plus, retrieving takes more time than I expected. 

4.2: Patience is virtue. Patience is genius. Here’s what I have been practicing:

• Long tone excercise with a metronome and a tuner

• Scales with different articulations (diaphram, single/double/tripple tongue, reverse)

• Arpeggios with different articulations

• Moto perpetual by Paganini with diaphram

My First International Trip

1.1: Finally, I can freely travel in and out of the United States. After a long period of not being able to do so, I am finally outside of the US and enjoying every second of it. Upon the renewal of my passport, I had a long period of deciding where to visit. I wanted to celebrate the moment. 

1.2: Just like in every other 1990s' Romantic Comedy films, I could've gone to JFK, and casually say "give me round-trip tickets departing soon." (Of course, I might've ended up in some exotic foreign city with or without visa, or ... let's say ... some random city in the Midwest area ...) Either way, that would have given me a pretty compelling story to tell on a blind date. 

2.1: On a Wednesday evening last March, I had dinner with a friend. After the dinner, we started walking uptown, and stumbled upon a fortune teller. I asked the teller to read my palms. She told me that I will have one wife, that I should stop worry about the work that I do, and that eventually I must reloacate to London, England. I’ve visited London once, probably about eight years ago. I fell in love with the city, its culture, and its ... everything! I have forgot about how much I loved my time being in London. 

2.2: So that gave me an idea where I can go for the celebratory visit: London, (where I can still speak English, and where I can drink room-temperatured beer ... don’t judge me ... )

3.1: The thought of “spontaneously going to London” started to capture my attention for the entire month of April. Then I talked to a friend about it. She asked me if I will go to London with my flute, and my answer, after a pause, was No. I would not go to London with my flute. Then she said that I will be in a foreign city without my identity if there’s no flute next to me. 

3.2: That thought struck me: going to a foreign city without my identity being a flautist. Then I came up with this: how about going to Toronto? 

• A. because it’s only 55 minutes away from NYC.

• B. because I always went to Toronto with my flute.

• C. becasue I miss being in Toronto.

• D. why not.

3.3: While conducting some serious research for which cities / countries to go, I suddenly got a handful of works and concerts to play. I wasn’t able to go anywhere abroad. At that moment, I thought that I should have just gone to JFK in late March, and gotten myself a round-trip ticket without any specific destination in mind. 

4.1: Guess where I ended up going to. I came back to Korea for the first time in two years. I am spending quality time with my family. Visiting Korea was the best decision I’ve made, and this particular visit has been so special. Certainly worth waiting for the moment. 

P.S. As I was writing this journal, I received an email from AirCanada that one way ticket from La Guardia to Toronto is only $84. 

drug of my choice

Introduction: It's been a little over a month since I started leisurely drinking coffee again. I am back on the journey of visiting my favourite cafés and bean shops in the city. Every trip has been filled with a great pleasure of re-visiting those good ol' places and discovering new ones to call emotional home. All suggestions for good coffee places are welcome.  

1.1: I never disliked the taste of coffee. In fact, I loved it and I knew exactly what kind of coffee I wanted to drink. I, however, was never a fan of caffeine crash: jitters and multiple rollercoaster rides of random thoughts. Caffeine crash was one of the main reasons why I decided to give up the joy of drinking coffee. I chose not to drink coffee because I wanted to avoid those symptoms. I picked a better performance in life over coffee. 

1.2: My story sadly does not end here because of

2.1: A dilemma I faced: I need caffeine in the morning, oy.

2.2: Someone who's go-to beverage is not coffee recommended me drinking black tea in the morning. I wasn't sure whether my issues were coming from caffeine or psychological reasons or whatnot, so I decided to give it a go. Yes, and! 

• Black tea of my choice (English, Irish or Scottish Breakfast / Blend / French Lavender Earl Grey)

• 1 tsp of cane sugar

• 2-3 tbsp of whole milk

3.1: It worked. It really did. Black tea instantly became something I ...

• worshiped

• adored

• lived on

• mentally relied on

3.2: So I started labeling myself as a tea person until I came to the realisation. 

4.1: My consumption of caffeinated tea was increasing day by day that I started having the caffeine crash.

4.2: Two things from this experience:

1. I can prove that my issues were coming from caffeine overdose, duh. "Too much is as bad as too little."

2. In the past, I didn't commit myself to giving up coffee; and I proved that the full-time tea drinking habit also has the same effect on me just like coffee. It's not about the source of caffeine, it's about how much I consume. Psychological comfort was given when I falsely believed that drinking tea might not have a negative effect on me whatever the reason was.

5.1: That's my story. The conclusion is that I love coffee, and I still love tea.

5.2: You will be hearing me saying "Espresso please!" more often though. But do stop me when you feel that I start drinking too much coffee or tea.

Postscript: all suggestions for good coffee/tea shops are welcome! 

Molto espresso!